


My Legacy Should Be Me

by ride_clyde



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:33:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9580958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ride_clyde/pseuds/ride_clyde
Summary: This is a dark story where Sarah Walker chooses a different path. AU with canon references. NOT Charah friendly; but then, neither was the show.





	

A/N The author has made no profit or derived any other material benefit from this work. No ownership or claim to Chuck is asserted or implied.

My Legacy Should Be Me 

It’s late and he is tired. He has had to listen to the asset fuck his partner again, this time refusing to watch. They seem to do that a lot now and he thinks that she has finally given in to her feelings for the geek. He doesn’t blame them; either of them. Life is too short, especially in their line of work. There are no guarantees that any of them would live to see another sunrise. In his case, he wasn’t sure that he deserved to.

He’s done some horrible things in his lifetime. Most for his country; some not.

It has been twenty minutes since he heard Chuck tell his partner that he was cumming inside her. Telling her that he loved her as he filled her up, collapsing immediately afterward in a post coital cuddle before falling asleep.

Casey knew that it wouldn’t be long now…it never was.

In a testament to her skill level, she moves silently from the apartment and across the courtyard, knocking softly on his door. He sighed and stood up, heading for the door…just like she knew he would.

“Jesus Walker!” He said when he opened his door and saw his naked partner standing there. She moved silently past him and he had to pry his eyes away from her retreating form long enough to close and lock the door. It took a Herculean effort.

“Are you insane? What if Ellie or Awesome had seen you?!” She was really starting to worry him. It was almost as if she wanted to get caught so that Chuck would have a reason not to love her. He didn’t know why she was as self-destructive as she was. By the light of day, she seemed happy to bask in the love of one Charles Irving Bartowski.

Nights, however, were different.

“Please…it’s me.” She said confidently. As if she strolled nightly in the moonlight where anyone was free to see her incredible nude body.

Which wasn’t too far from the truth.

Casey knew why HE did it; she was the best fuck that he had ever had. That was saying something because his list included Carina Miller. He couldn’t figure out why Sarah risked so much just to have his cock inside her; especially when Bartowski’s cum was normally still leaking down her thighs when she visited.

He doesn’t love her, not like Bartowski does. He is certain that she doesn’t love him. 

He knows that she loves the geek; that she always had. 

If only she would let herself.  
\--X--

It had started with him making one last ditch effort to save his asset from a bunker and his partner from ruining her career. He knew that Chuck had been in love with her almost since day one. Sarah was almost as bad; Casey wasn’t blind. Casey had figured that he needed to do something drastic to pull his partners pretty head out of her succulent ass.

He had to let her know that he had covered for her as far as he was going to. He had risked his own career enough for her. He had known about her and that prick Shaw. He had known from the very first time that they had fucked, having met only hours before. Casey did something then that he rarely did for another person; he stuck his neck out. Instead of informing his superiors about what his teammates were up to, he kept silent. But she WAS the best partner that he had ever had.

He had Sarah meet him in his apartment one afternoon when Chuck was at work; it was the one place that he knew was away from the government’s prying eyes. He was trying to show her that he had had her back during that dark time and that he had it now. He was going to show her the evidence and tell her that he was done covering for her.

Shaw was a professional, but he wasn’t aware of just how paranoid almost twenty years in espionage had made Casey. Shaw wasn’t aware that Casey had installed some of his own surveillance inside Castle. Therefore, Shaw didn’t know that Casey would still be able to witness their actions, even after Shaw had cut the feeds from Castle’s system.

He showed her the video and was preparing to tell her that he was done risking his career. Her reaction changed all that.

“You know, he was fucking my ass in this video, right?” She asked. Casey had NOT known that; he only had video; they were too far away to tell the specifics of the act or for the microphone to pick up their voices.

He had watched her reaction to herself on the sixty inch monitor in his apartment. Watching as Shaw had forcefully pulled her panties down after he had spun her around. She watched as her screen self had surrendered to Daniel Shaw’s cock. She watched as Shaw barley opened his pants before he started shoving his cock inside her. She remembered that it hurt quite badly…right before it felt glorious. There was no mistaking what was being witnessed. It wasn’t two people making tender love; it was an alpha male fucking a slut. 

Except, in this case, the slut was her. 

And she wouldn’t change a thing about what happened. That time, or the numerous times afterward. They had spent over a month fucking every chance they got. Something that hadn’t been easy as Shaw was on lock down inside Castle. Still, she estimated that they had fucked at least three times every day that he was there. She had stopped wearing a bra or panties at all, giving Shaw easier access whenever and wherever he wanted it.

Chuck had even caught them once in the kitchen as she was bent over the small dining table, her mini skirt up around her waist and Shaw once again mounting her from behind. She had locked eyes with Chuck as Shaw’s cock pummeled her asshole. He watched as she started to orgasm, unable to look away from her intense gaze. Chuck stood there, watching as she had the most powerful orgasm that she had ever had. When she had finished and she knew from the feel that Shaw had shot his load into her as well, she turned back to look at the man who had just claimed her. When she turned back, Chuck was gone.

Chuck never mentioned it but from that point forward he had always made sure that everyone knew when he was in the area. Shaw repeatedly made an effort to have Chuck “catch” them again, but it had never happened.

Shaw was dead three weeks after Chuck had witnessed her cum on Daniel Shaw’s cock. 

Sarah stood motionless in front of the screen, watching as Shaw made her his slut. Knowing that she had willingly given herself to him, time and time again. Her pussy and ass longed for him, even now. Even after he had tried to kill her.

Casey had watched as she fell back into the chair that he normally sat in during his surveillance. He thought that she was having some sort of mental collapse, fearing that he was going to have to give her emotional support; something that he loathed doing.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

“He took me so hard…so forcibly. He just took me…” She whispered.

Then she started rubbing the outside of her tight sweater, stopping as she got to where the nipple on her left breast was. She slowly started making a circle on the fabric and Casey watched the nipple press through the fabric in response to her actions. “I—I knew it was wrong...but I didn’t stop. I COULDN’T stop. I wanted this so badly. He fucked me so hard that night...he shot his load deep inside me. I would have done anything for him…I DID do anything for him.” 

She didn’t have to reminisce; she was watching it in living color.

And Casey was watching her as her hand slowly moved down and started rubbing the crotch of her jeans. At first, her touch was light, just her middle finger rubbing the outside of her jeans. Next, she added a second finger and soon she was pressing her palm hard on the outside of her jeans.

Moments later, her hand found its way inside her jeans to the folds of her dripping pussy.

“He fucked me SO much…he fucked me SO good. Over and over he took me. He treated me like such a slut.”

He is silent as he listens to her narration. He does not know if she is talking to herself or to him. It is irrelevant as he soon watches her body convulse in orgasmic bliss.

She leaves the video running as she makes her way from his apartment. She doesn’t even bother to button her jeans back up; there is nothing that would hide the dark wet spot.  
\--X--  
The next night, she visits him for the first time, dropping her robe and mounting his cock as he sits in his surveillance chair. Other than her whimpers as she cums when he unloads inside her, she doesn’t utter a sound.

\--X--

The next day at Castle, she instructs him to reinstall all the video surveillance that had been removed from the apartment when she moved in.

She informs him that if he doesn’t do it, she will.

She doesn’t tell him why, but he knows.

She wants him to watch her fuck.

\--X--

After a few trips to his apartment, she opens the blinds as he is pummeling her from behind…just like Shaw did.

“My ass, Casey! Fuck my ass!” She pleads and he is more than willing to comply.

She looks across the courtyard toward the bedroom window. The same window that she had been on the other side of, thirty minutes earlier.

She was fucking then too.

They had stopped making love. THEY didn’t even fuck.

SHE fucked HIM.

She wonders briefly if Chuck had even noticed but she knows that he has.

He knows that he has lost her and he suspects that he knows why.

She wonders why she hates him so much that she wants him to see what she was doing…to watch again as she gives herself willing to another man. She hates him so much that she wants him to look at her with disgust and call her a slut even as she is racked with yet another powerful orgasm. To watch as the cock of a more powerful man fucks her asshole; a hole that Chuck had left untouched.

Except…

It wasn’t Chuck that she hated…it was herself.

She hates that she needs to have Chuck look at her again and know that she is in ecstasy, to know that it isn’t his cock that was driving her to such heights. It isn’t his cock, no…

She craves something even greater from Chuck.

She wants HIM to hate her as well.

It has been said that love is greater than hate…

Not to Sarah; hate is the only emotion that she has ever felt comfortable with.

\--X--

“This is it. The last time.” Casey says in that language of his that sounds like a growl.

“What are you talking about?” She asks as she is trying to catch her breath.

“If you come over again, bring your suitcase with you because you are not leaving.”

He watches her form again as she heads toward the door without a reply. It is now his cum that he sees dripping down the inside of her thighs.

And there is a LOT of it.

\--X--

The next night, he hears them. Again he refuses to watch.

Thirty minutes later there is a soft knock at his door.

He knows that she is naked. True to his word, he refuses her entry.

He watches as she enters into her apartment and sits on the sofa, drawing her knees to her chest.

He hears her quiet sobs.

\--X-- 

About thirty minutes later, he hears them talking. The tone is such that his ears pick up the conflict. Enough that he actually watches them on his monitor.

“We need to talk.” She tells Chuck. She has not redressed, but for some reason Chuck is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She has not even bothered to wipe the traces of their recent activities off of her as she sits on the bed…their bed.

“This is about Shaw, isn’t it?” Chuck asks.

“What? How did—“She is now flustered and confused. The talk had barely started and already she is defeated.

“You liked it when I watched him fuck you, watched as you came all over him, didn’t you?” His voice was surprisingly calm; he had known this moment was coming for quite a while.

Sarah would not or could not meet his gaze. She remained quiet for so long that he started to get angry.

“Answer me dammit!” 

Still she refused to say anything. Her mind was reeling at the thought that Chuck knew…that he had always known.

“Two years…two fucking years I waited!” His statement was met with no visible reaction from her.

“And you fucked him two HOURS after you met him.” There was anger and disgust in his tone now.

“HE fucked ME.” She finally whispered.

“I bet you put up QUITE the fight!” He said. She didn’t need to look at him to know that his eyes were on fire. His jealousy and sarcasm was a living breathing entity at that moment.

“That’s all you two did for a month…fuck like little bunnies. Don’t think that I didn’t know that you had stopped wearing underwear. Your tits flopped constantly and I could SMELL you whenever he walked into the room.”

Chuck had never heard silence be so incredibly loud. He tried to be patient; after all she was the one who said that needed to talk. Finally, his impatience got the better of him.

“Why do you want to humiliate me so badly? All I’ve ever done is love you.” There is a hitch in his voice. Try as he would, he could not keep his emotions in check.

“I don’t want to humiliate YOU Chuck. I want YOU to humiliate ME!” She finally admits.

“How is fucking everybody else humiliating anyone BUT me?” He asks. She doesn’t have an answer, not a good one anyway. Against her nature, she decides to tell the truth.

“I don’t deserve to be loved Chuck. I’ve done some horrible things in my life. I—I want you to hate me Chuck…I want you to hate the sight of me. I want you to see the image of Shaw fucking my asshole every time you look at me. I want you to know that Casey has filled me with his cum right after you have, many many times. I wanted him to use me, to make me feel like a slut. I needed that…I need you to hate me.” She admits.

“I know about Casey Sarah. I’ve seen you, every time.”

This surprises Sarah, but not Casey. She had always been so caught up in wanting to be discovered that she never watched the monitor that would have shown her that Chuck was watching them from his darkened bedroom. Unlike her eyes, the infrared camera showed Casey that the nerd was well aware of the activities of his girlfriend and his other partner. He had been aware for some time, even before she had started opening the blinds. He would stand watch in the darkened bedroom until she returned.

The bedroom; their bedroom, where each time she left Chuck had, only moments earlier, deposited his load in her succulent pussy.

Once again she is speechless. She is amazed that she could be so clueless when it came to the man that she is fairly certain that she is in love with. How could he be so intuitive about her when all she ever tells him are snippets, half-truths and outright lies? She, of all people, should know.

After all, she has watched Chuck prevail numerous times over people that under estimated him.

She DID know…she knew all along.

She wanted this, she WANTS it now.

“I don’t hate you…I—I can’t…I won’t!” He says, snapping her back to their conversation.

“I’m going to take a walk.” He says softly as he walks past her. He stops in the doorway but refuses to turn and look at her. “Pack your things and get out. I’ll tell Beckman that it is my fault…that I just can’t work with you anymore.” He takes a step and then stops again.

“I’ve had enough. Get out of my life Sarah Walker.”

When he leaves, she doesn’t know why she didn’t try and stop him. All she can do is sob as her heart breaks. She knows that she has no one to blame but herself, but it doesn’t make it any easier. She didn’t know what she expected, but it wasn’t this. 

She is gone twenty minutes later.

She has no way of knowing that it will be almost fifteen years before she sees him again.

\--X—

It has taken Stephanie Wilkins almost two years to get to this point, waiting on a park bench near an upscale neighborhood on the out skirts of Tempe Arizona. Her spy instincts are on alert as she watches and listens to the sounds of children playing. She was beginning to lose all hope of finding her mother. It was as if she had disappeared and for a while Stephanie had feared the unthinkable; that Ryker had found them.

\--X--

Sarah Walker had been reassigned after her stint on team Bartowski was finished. She hadn’t even tried to stay with Casey; she knew that the bosses would never allow that. The CIA hadn’t issued a burn notice on her, but her days of the premium assignments were over. The new director was not a fan of agents that didn’t do like they were supposed to. Especially on such an important assignment.

She spends over ten years doing low priority work, often on her back as the trophy of some mid-level scum bag. It seems the new director wants to make an example out of her so he sends her on every sleazy seduction assignment that becomes available. Word of her “exploits” is continually leaked from the director’s office, the only place that it could be originating from. She hears the whispers and sees how the other agents look at her with disgust as her numbers increase at a rapid pace.

She finds that she doesn’t mind how they view her. In a strange way that she doesn’t really understand, it excites her. She takes so many cocks that she eventually far exceeds the supposed number of Carina’s conquests. 

Except Carina isn’t being forced to do it.

But then, neither is she.

When she wasn’t being used as a play thing, she had been regulated to courier duty or other such mundane tasks. It was on a courier mission in Berlin that she first saw Casey. It had been six years since she had seen him, but he was still Casey. He was part of the two man team that she was to give her intel to. He met her gaze but had not uttered a word to her.

Casey hadn’t been that difficult to find as there were only a few places in Berlin that she knew he would feel comfortable in. She found him in the bar of a much nicer hotel that the one the CIA had put her in.

He was waiting for her in the back booth; him facing the door and sipping on his beloved Johnnie Walker. He knew that she would find him.

“Walker.” He said as he motioned with his glass for her to take the seat opposite him.

“It’s Morris. Rebecca Morris.” She says as she slides into the booth.

“I don’t give a fuck what your name is now…what do you want?” He growls.

She is startled by his tone and even more by his demeanor. He is a fortress and she knows this is not going to go well.

“Can’t two old friends take a minute to catch up?” She asks cheerfully.

“No.” He says, cutting off the inquiry. “I am well aware of your activities. Everyone is. You made your choice. Now, I say again, what do you want?”

She bites her bottom lip as her words come out softly, almost as a whisper. “How is—how is he---do you ever hear from Chuck?” She finally forces out.

“Yup.” He says as he slams the last of his drink and stands up. “Take care of yourself Walker.” 

With that, he is gone. She knows not to follow him, it would serve no purpose.

\--X--

She sees Casey again in Madrid, eighteen months later. She is Charlotte Webster now and she locates his hotel and knocks softly on his door. When it opens, she drops her overcoat and stands naked in the hallway in front of him.

He shuts the door in her face. He doesn’t slam it, instead allowing it to ever so slowly close. She watches his eyes until they disappear behind the metal hotel room door.

He is not going to make the same mistake twice.

She never sees him again.

\--X--

After barely escaping the clutches of a cartel lieutenant and a dozen of his body guards in Columbia, she decides to see for herself if Chuck is okay. She knows that she will be sanctioned if the CIA finds out but being gang raped for a week tends to adjust one’s perspective.

It has been eight years, seven months and fourteen days since she last looked into Chuck’s eyes.

\--X--

Chuck is a ghost. There is no trace of anything of his old life in Burbank. There are new occupants in all of the units in Echo Park. She can’t locate Ellie or Devon; even Morgan has vanished.

Anxious for any information, she covertly watches the Buy More for several days. In a final act of desperation, she dons the Sarah Walker persona. She picks up Lester Patel and fucks him. His information is as useless as his cock; he lasts less than two minutes. 

It had been over five years since he had seen Chuck or Morgan. He HAD been able to tell her that they disappeared at about the same time. It comes as no real surprise that neither man had made any type of contact with Lester. 

Her only consolation to how low she had stooped is that she knows nobody will believe that Lester even saw her; much less that he fucked her.

\--X—

Three years later and there is still no trace of him. She is a shell of the agent that she used to be but luckily she spends less time on her back or on hers knee for a mission. She is older and no longer able to use her feminine wiles as easily as she once did. Good guys and bad guys both preferred younger, less used pussy.

She gets word through channels that the FBI was on the lookout for someone that had been attempting to locate classified information about an operation in the LA area over a decade prior. Thankfully, the FBI doesn’t know that is her that has been looking.

It tells her that Chuck is still out there if her searching has tripped an alarm with the government. It also meant that he had had help in his disappearance. Help that is ongoing and powerful if it is able to shield him, to shield all of them, from her.

\--X—

A year later, she decides to abandon the search when she returns to her apartment in DC to find that it had been ransacked. The police tell her that there had been a rash of recent burglaries in the area, but she has never believed in coincidences. She leaves government service and drops off grid.

It has been thirteen years, one month and twenty days since she has seen Chuck.

\--X—

Evelyn Boxley is forty-one years old when she discovers that her father has died in prison from an apparent heart attack. Her paranoia won’t allow her to attend his funeral but it forces her to face the realities of her life decisions. She wants to locate her mother but is still afraid for the safety of both her and Molly, the little girl that she had saved before Burbank.

Times are difficult as she had long since burned through most of her other contingency plans and monies. She often has to resort to prostitution in order to make ends meet. It’s not easy, twenty five dollars at a time.

She’s done more for less. Many times.

She is saving Stephanie Wilkins, her last identity, until she finds something more definitive about her mother’s whereabouts. She also saves her last fifty thousand dollars to aid her in that task.

She is shocked to find out that Kieran Ryker had been dead for over four years. He had been shot to death in an alley in Budapest, probably still looking for the little girl that Sarah Walker had stolen from him. That was the only good thing that she felt like she had accomplished, giving Molly a chance for a life that she otherwise wouldn’t have had. Hopefully, Molly was safe and happy. Evelyn knows that her mother would have given Molly the life that Samantha could have had. 

That she should have had.

\--X—

Emma King had taken Molly with her when she had moved, according to what a helpful neighbor had told Stephanie. Strangely enough, it was about the same time that everyone else had disappeared as well. The neighbor had also informed Stephanie that Emma and Molly had moved to Seattle Washington because Emma had some type of new teaching job. 

She felt a lump in her throat as she wondered if something had happened to necessitate everyone’s vanishing act. She convinces herself that her mother must have just moved to find better employment; Chuck had not been aware of either Emma or Molly’s existence when Sarah Walker had left Burbank all those years earlier.

Maybe it really was just a coincidence.

Stephanie begins to check anywhere in Seattle that Emma could have possibly been employed. After months of searching, she finds that a woman matching her mother’s description HAD been employed at a private school in the area. Yes, the school secretary tells Stephanie, the woman did have a teenage daughter, but the woman’s name wasn’t Emma. Her mother was going by the name Cindy Krupps.

Stephanie knew that it was quite difficult to get a new identity that would pass the necessary background checks inherent to teaching at a private school that catered to a rich and powerful clientele. Her father had possessed the necessary skills and contacts but she was almost certain that her mother had not.

Stephanie Wilkins was again struck with the feeling that there were very powerful forces involved that were unseen to her.

The trail to her mother had gone cold until Stephanie was able to locate where her mother and Molly had lived. Not the apartment that the school secretary had directed her to but the one that the pair had lived in when they first arrived in Seattle. In her desire to find a better place to live, Emma had left a telephone number that she could always be contacted at.

Stephanie’s elation quickly disappeared when she discovered that the telephone number was to an answering service. The service did not have a member by the name of Cindy Krupps but there WAS a listing for Emma King.

With absolutely no hope of success, Stephanie left a message.

Her mother called her three days later. Her mother tells her to meet in Tempe because it is not safe to talk over the phone. She later realizes that, in her excitement, she forgot to ask her mother about Molly, who would be almost twenty-two by now.

It would just have to wait a few more days.

It has been fourteen years, ten months and eighteen days since she left Burbank.

\--X--

She was unable to move when she felt her mother sit down on the bench beside her. She wanted very much to take her mother into a hug and never let go, but she was frozen. When she was finally able to speak, she was only able to spit out a single word.

“How?”

The answer was simple. 

Samantha, Sarah, Rebecca, Charlotte, Evelyn and Stephanie knew the answer.

She had always known the answer.

“Chuck.” Her mother replied.

“He just showed up out of the blue one day in San Diego and scared the hell out of me. I thought that the person that you had warned me about had found us. But, Samantha, he was so kind and gentle and he had told me things about you that only someone that loved you could know.”

Stephanie, no she was Samantha from the minute that she had located her mother, smiled as she was well aware of just how devastingly charming Chuck could be.

“His father apparently was some government bigwig that had discovered our existence. Chuck was so broken and I could tell that he was actually grieving for you. I feared the worst but he assured me that he knew where you were, that he always knew where you were, and that you were very much alive. He wouldn’t tell me anything else but I could tell that it tore him up inside to talk about you.”

Samantha winced when she heard that Chuck had known where she was and what she had been doing. She had held onto a miniscule hope that he had been unaware of the number of men that had used her; while at the same time some part of her hoping that he was keenly aware of the exorbitant number of cocks that she had pleased. She should have known better.

Again, she had underestimated him. 

“All he wanted to do was help and make sure that we were safe. Molly, who was fourteen at the time, adored him.” Emma continued.

This made Samantha smile as she recalled her own fourteen year old self and paused to reflect upon how that self would have reacted to Chuck. Much as her twenty four year old self had when she first met him, she would have adored him as well.

If only… 

“For the first few years, he only visited a couple of times a year but he always made sure that we were well provided for. It was him that told me that I didn’t ever have to worry about that man finding us again, that he had taken care of it personally. I didn’t know what that meant, but I trusted him.”

Samantha stiffens when she hears this. She wonders what could have changed inside Chuck to make him actually kill another human being. Sure, she had witnessed him shoot Shaw, but he was trying to throw her off of a bridge at the time. Chuck did that to protect her; to protect someone that he loved.

Chuck would ONLY do that to protect someone that he loved…

Wait. What?

Samantha heard his laugh before she saw him. She quickly turned her head to see a tall, well built man stoop to pick up a little girl of about two or three years of age and swing her around in the air. Based on the squeals of delight emanating from the blonde haired little girl, she was enjoying the activity very much.

Samantha stopped breathing when she heard the little girl yell, “more daddy” as she hugged the neck of the man whom Samantha was now certain was Chuck. He looked so happy.

Samantha had always known that Chuck would make a great father.

“Now Sarah…” A female voice said. “Let your father have a minute’s peace.” 

Samantha could barely hear her mother’s voice over the rushing sound in her ears.

“The Christmas when Molly was fifteen, after he had left, she told me that she was going to marry Chuck one day.” Emma continued.  
Samantha struggled to catch her breath. It felt like someone was standing on her chest as she watched Chuck lean over and passionately kiss the stunning young blonde woman that had stepped up beside him.

“On her eighteenth birthday…he stopped resisting.” 

 

A/N 2 Molly is a little older here than she was in canon, but that is just how it worked out. Sorry if there are any other glaring errors in continuity. Please read and review and let me know what you think. I loved show but HATED the ending. I also loved the Sarah Walker character; a broken but redeemable woman. I just break her more.


End file.
